My hopeless opus

I’m standing at the edge of an imaginary line called New Years Day. It’s tradition to use this line to start afresh. The reality is, I’ve been pushing in new directions this entire year. It’s been hell. Hello.

I’ve heard it takes a life threatening type of event for humans to make massive shifts in their beliefs and habits. I went through one at the beginning of this year. It was a breakup—I know, no big deal. Those do happen all the time. Maybe it was the spot I was in and the people it affected (my daughter), but this was tough for me. 

My reaction to all the new space I found in life was to fill it with something intriguing. I took inspiration from a few photographers I found and built a studio at home and set out to do something I've never done before. I didn’t have a goal. I’m not sure I have one now—except to create meaningful work.

So I jumped in. I took a lot of self-portraits. I offered and completed lots of free shoots with people I thought would be great to photograph. And it was cathartic. 

But the entire time it’s felt hopeless. My hopeless opus (hat tip to Imagine Dragons for an inspiring song of the same title). And at the same time it was freeing. My creative spirit needed it even though it’s hard to start at the bottom. I made progress and learned a few things about photography and myself along the way. There's a lot more to learn.

On to 2019. It's a new year. I'm the same work in progress. But I like it. And that’s all that matters. 

Here’s my favorite nine photos from 2018. I’ve enjoyed working with everyone I’ve photographed this year. When I connect the dots looking backwards, I hope 2018 was the start of something more meaningful than before.